


A Push In the Right Direction

by The_Fangirl_Sunstorm



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Did anyone else love seeing Virgil openly smiling at the end of the vid cause I definitely did, Don’t worry though Logan is there to talk him down, I basically latched onto Virge’s second of hesitation, Lavender Eyeshadow, Logan giving good advice, Post-Episode: Flirting with Social Anxiety, Virgil being a worrywart, Virgil overthinking things, When Thomas asked if they were ready for this, and ran with it, doubts, logan dealing with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fangirl_Sunstorm/pseuds/The_Fangirl_Sunstorm
Summary: Fifteen minutes had passed since Thomas had returned home, and it was evident that he and Roman would not be coming down from their emotional high anytime soon. Eyes sparkling, the pair traded excited hand gestures and daydream scenarios back and forth, voices rising and falling with inspiration. Knowing that it would be a while before the two ran out of steam, Virgil decided to make his exit.Away from Thomas and Roman for the first time since their trip to the mall had begun, Virgil began to absorb what a big decision he had just made. His eyes widened.“Oh crap.” He breathed. “What have I done?”Or... Virgil is an overthinker and Logan gives good advice.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Thomas/Nico Flores (mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	A Push In the Right Direction

Fifteen minutes had passed since Thomas had returned home, and it was evident that he and Roman would not be coming down from their emotional high anytime soon. Eyes sparkling, the pair traded excited hand gestures and daydream scenarios back and forth, voices rising and falling with inspiration. Knowing that it would be a while before the two ran out of steam, Virgil decided to make his exit. 

Face still feeling unnaturally flushed, the anxious side arrived in his bedroom and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror hanging on his wall. 

_Whoah_ , the side thought to himself, _that's different_ . He brushed a finger under his eyes, noticing the stark contrast between his usual black eyeshadow and the lavender currently shown by his reflection. _Did the light sides or Thomas even_ **_know_ ** _his eyeshadow could do that?_ He wondered briefly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He couldn’t remember the last time his eyeshadow had been this light, and he felt unexpectedly vulnerable at the thought of the others seeing him like that. 

The twinge of anxiety at his appearance was enough to bring him back to earth and he felt as much as saw his makeup fade slowly back to grey and then black. Away from Thomas and Roman for the first time since their trip to the mall had begun, Virgil began to absorb what a big decision he had just made. His eyes widened. 

“Oh crap.” He breathed. “What have I done?”

_What if this is a huge mistake?_ Virgil wondered. A moment ago the side had been sure of his decision but he felt off-balance as his usual worries began to trickle back in, doubt creeping into his psyche. He pushed a hand through his hair to try and calm his sudden nerves. 

“ _No, Thomas_ **_needs_ ** _this.”_ Virgil reminded himself forcefully, echoing Roman’s statement from earlier. He tried to reach for the happy feeling he had been immersed in just moments prior but he came up empty. His good mood had evaporated, leaving restlessness and uncertainty in its wake.

_But what if you were wrong? What if this ends horribly and then Thomas is even more unhappy than before?_ His inner dialogue persisted _._ Virgil gritted his teeth in frustration. 

“Why can’t you ever just calm down for two minutes?” He hissed to himself under his breath. The side began to pace back and forth to try and stem the nervous energy but the knot in his chest only tightened. 

“It hasn’t even been a day yet, it’s barely been an _hour_ .” He felt the beginnings of guilt pooling in his stomach. “This was _your choice_ wasn’t it? You’re the one that pushed Thomas.” The anxious side tried to reason with himself. He worked in vain to suppress his feelings but he could see the shadows of his room creeping closer out of the corner of his eye. A tendril seemed to stretch out toward him on the floor, seeking the source of negativity the way a sunflower turns toward the light.

Virgil knew the shadows were a warning. They couldn’t hurt him, they were only a reflection of his mental state, but he took a step backwards all the same. Usually the negative aspects of his room barely affected the side but creeping shadows meant his control was beginning to slip and he tensed.

_I should leave before it gets worse._ Virgil thought. The side bit his lip, hesitant at the idea of running into Roman or Patton. He didn’t want to go to the common room and risk spoiling their happiness with his misgivings. He needed somewhere private to work through the mess his thoughts had become, and with his room out of the question the side’s options were limited. 

A place came to mind and Virgil made a split second decision, knowing that if he paused to dwell his resolve would fall apart. The anxious side let his legs carry him out of his room before he had time to question himself. Virgil shut the door quietly and made his way down the hall, stopping at the door on the left. He knocked and a voice on the other side answered, prim and proper as always.

“You may enter.” The other side said and Virgil pushed the door open, suddenly unsure now that he had arrived at his destination. Logan looked up at him from a stack of papers the logical side had been organizing. “Ah Virgil, do you require something from me?” Logan asked.

“Hey Lo.” Virgil responded, unsure of what to say. “No I umm don’t need anything exactly. Can I just stay here for a minute? I promise I won’t bother you.” He knew he sounded off, but he hoped that Logan wouldn’t notice.

“Are you alright Virgil?” The other side questioned and Virgil cursed his luck. 

**“Yes…** _no_...I mean, I don’t even know.” Virgil replied weakly. Logan looked the other side up and down, probably trying to analyze Virgil’s state for clues about why he was acting that way.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it yet.” Virgil said. 

“Very well then,” Logan replied. “Would you like to sit on my bed while I work? You can listen to that music of yours on your headphones.” 

Virgil nodded and crossed the room to sit on Logan’s bed. The comforter was tucked with an efficiency that looked similar to a hotel bed, but Virgil sprawled carelessly across it. 

The anxious side had done this a handful of times before, shown up in Logan’s room unannounced and just hung out. Being the less _excitable_ of the core four gave the two common ground, and he and Logan sometimes holed up in there together when Patton and Roman got to be a bit too much. 

Virgil put his headphones in his ears and flipped through his playlist. He tried to relax, tried to think about something other than his worries. He only made it through three songs before he gave up. With a groan, Virgil tossed the headphones aside and buried his face in Logan’s bedsheets.

“Ok, this isn’t working.” Virgil said, voice muffled by Logan’s constellation-patterned comforter. 

“You’re going to have to repeat that. I have no idea what you just said, but judging by your demeanor something is certainly bothering you. Care to share? Perhaps I may be of assistance.” The logical side offered. Virgil raised his head and blew his bangs out of his eyes before shifting to look at Logan, uncertain of how to explain the situation.

“Alright. I guess I’ll just come out and say it,” Virgil said, sitting up to match the other side who had turned his chair to face him. “Thomas was at the mall today and he saw a cute guy. He made a total fool out of himself because only Roman and I were in the driver's seat and we kept arguing but then the guy almost walked away and the look on Roman’s face was so awful that I just _reacted_ without thinking. I pushed Thomas into the guy and they started talking and it was actually really nice but now I’m a total mess.” The Anxious side explained. 

“I was _smiling_ Logan. I don’t smile, not like that. And it was so nice but I just- _I just_ _can’t_ _stop_ thinking about what I did, and what if I’ve made some horrible decision. I don’t wanna get Pat and Ro’s hopes up again only to have them come crashing down to Earth and it would be all my fault cause I’m the one that _freaking shoved him_.” Agitation bled into Virgil’s voice on the last note. The anxious side pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his back against the headboard of the bed, while Logan listened patiently from his desk chair. Virgil breathed a deep sigh to collect himself and continued in a more subdued tone.

“And I know that Thomas will never be in a relationship again if he doesn’t put himself out there but it is so _effing hard_ for me to let my guard down.” Virgil said. “I just don’t want any of them to get hurt, protecting them is literally in my job description.” The side clenched and unclenched his fist as he gathered his thoughts.

“But then what if I go and ruin it by being negative and then not only will I have totally screwed up but Roman will be so upset.”

“I don’t know how to face him.” Virgil admitted. “You should have seen him, he was so excited. I don’t want to take that away from him.” Virgil’s gaze fell to his lap in shame. 

Logan listened until Virgil had finished, looking a little startled by the sudden onslaught of words from the anxious side. Luckily for Virgil, Logan was a fast processor so it was only a moment before the latter had absorbed his tirade and cleared his throat to reply. 

“You are well aware that feelings are not my specialty.” Logan began, not unkindly. “Usually I would advise you to talk to Patton, but since some of the root of your worries seem to be disappointing him as well as everyone else I suppose you’ll have to settle for the advice I can give you on the matter.” The Logical side pushed his glasses further up on his nose. 

“I can only surmise that you made a judgement call when you pushed Thomas. Though you can get a little caught up in your head your instincts are usually good. Whatever you were thinking or feeling that made you act was probably not for nothing, in fact I would venture to say you probably had good reason, even if you’re not sure of the reason yourself.” Virgil made a face.

“So I’m supposed to what? Trust my gut? I hate to break it to you but I’m not exactly most reliable when it comes to proper reactions. Remember when Thomas almost tripped off of that curb last week and I made him quadruple knot his shoelaces so it wouldn’t happen again because he could’ve gotten run over by a car?” 

The corner of Logan’s mouth turned up. “Yes that was rather… _overly_ _proactive_ of you but putting that aside, you really should have more faith in your judgement. You make up Thomas’ fight or flight, and that means making snap judgements and assessing an environment quickly. If something in you said that Thomas talking to this man was ok, than I would say that is a good sign at the very least.” 

Virgil paused to absorb that for a moment. He remembered abruptly how it had felt to see Thomas talking so easily to Nico, how natural it had been after the initial awkwardness. Virgil remembered how Roman had put a hand on his shoulder and called him _brave_. The knot of tension in Virgil’s chest loosened. 

“You know what… I think you might be right Logan. Thanks.”

“Of course, it is my job to _‘spill the tea_ ’ when it comes to facts after all.” The side said with self-satisfaction.

Virgil rolled his eyes good naturedly. “New vocab card huh?”

“Indeed.”

Virgil uncurled his legs from his chest and stretched out before getting off the bed. “I think I’m going to head back now. Knowing Pat and Ro, we’re gonna need to get as much rest as possible if we wanna deal with the level of enthusiasm they’re gonna have over this by tomorrow so I think I’ll take a nap.”

“Very well then... Before you go would you mind telling me the man’s name?” Logan asked. 

“Nico Flores.” Virgil answered, voice going soft at the end. A bit of the warmth from earlier returned and Virgil’s mouth turned up at one corner in a tentative smile. 

Virgil was not a dreamer in the way that Roman was but as he walked back to his room even he had to admit that the warmth in his chest could very well be the start of something new. Head feeling clear again, Virgil promised himself he’d do his best to enjoy it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are all welcome!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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